The fireman and I are great in a crisis. Seriously, I'm not bragging here. Professionally we've both been in disaster mitigation, response and recovery for over 20 years. Our resumes include things like New Orleans after Katrina and DC and New York after 9/11. When the shit hits the fan you want to see us, because we are really good at what we do.
Yep, fires, floods, national disasters, no problem! The problem seems to arise when we attempt ordinary everyday chores that most people never think twice about. Like taking out the garbage.
I'm involved in a secret Santa type swap right now that involves sending 12 individually wrapped gifts. Late last night I finished wrapping my gifts to send, but decided to leave the picking up of the mess until this morning.
Fast forward to 6 this morning, I'm in the shower and the fireman is asking if this is garbage pick up day, and did I put it out last night? With the holiday I'd forgotten, so I begged him to put it out quick, and while he was at it, could he grab my wrapping paper mess and put it out too.
Since he's generally the helpful sort he took care of it, and since I do appreciate him, I made him breakfast. As I was standing at the sink, looking down the driveway, we were chatting about how much snow we'd gotten, and how nice it was that the plows were out already.
Just about that time I was witness to the township plow hooking one of our bags of trash and spreading it hither and yon down the road. As I was putting my boots on to go clean it up, I mentioned that at least it was pretty wrapping paper garbage and not the cleanings from Hannah the cat's liter box that I'd get to clean up.
Imagine my surprise when I started picking up the trash, and it wasn't just leftover wrapping paper and mangled ribbon, but also my 12 wrapped gifts.
Normally I have nothing good to say about the local snow plow drivers. I'm convinced they have a points system and earn prizes for things they destroy and mangle during their routes. Today I am happy that the plow driver decided to go for the 3 pointer that our trash bags must have represented. He saved me a not inconsiderable sum of money and saved the fireman a shopping trip on black Friday!
Right as I finished picking everything up, the garbage truck rolled up. He threw the bags in the truck and tried to take the one from my hand. I had to to say no, it wasn't trash, just something I was giving to a friend.
When I got back the fireman was laughing because now the garbage man would be telling everyone that I do my holiday shopping in the neighborhood garbage cans.
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